No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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