I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
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We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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