I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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