I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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