I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize