I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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