my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
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I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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