Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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