Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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