Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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