Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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