why do cheetos always look like penises
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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