what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize