Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize