I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize