Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize