I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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