We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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