Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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