Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize