I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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