His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize