why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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