We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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