I'm sorry my penis didn't work
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize