i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
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Tornado booty call.. dedication
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize