I'm so fucking centered right now
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if only i could text you this smell
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p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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