I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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