So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
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Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
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