if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize