Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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