the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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