She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize