You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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