yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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