Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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