i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize