just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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