guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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