I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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