My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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