At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
babies were throwing up all over the place
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
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Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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