im drinking this country out of the recession.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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