If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize