the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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