I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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