the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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