woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize