somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
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"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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