At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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